Ainlsey – vasectomy diary
I had the snip. Here's my story that tells you why, how and what it was like. So you don’t have to listen to the scare stories your mates tell you in the pub. Hear it from someone who did it, not someone who’s to scared to make the decision.
I was a pretty normal, single 30 year old. I’d had plenty of girlfriends and in fact had one at the time. My own house, a job, a nice car and everything was great. That was until she came out of the bathroom one Saturday morning clutching a pregnancy test kit, telling me that she was pregnant. Oops, I thought, that’s moved the pitch, never mind the goal posts.
After I’d picked up my jaw and pumped some blood back into my face she then told me that she was joking. Apparently she wanted just to see my reaction. I didn’t quite see the funny side and it got me thinking for the rest of the week.
Until that morning I was happy with the situation as it was, didn’t really want to have kids then, didn’t really see her as a girlfriend for life, wasn’t quite ready to be grown up and all that. I also didn’t want to be forced into a life changing situation without planning it first.
I also kept thinking about how lucky I was that she had been joking. After all, you keep hearing of the pill not working, condoms breaking and so on. Maybe that was the wake up call I needed to do something about my life. I needed to take some control or I’d end up as a passenger in one hell of a big car crash of a life.
The only real way to do that is by having a vasectomy. I didn’t want such a life changing decision to rest with anyone else but me. My motto became “be a man, take control”.
The following Saturday I’d made up my mind. Ok, I’d not decided where to go or when or found out how, but I certainly knew I didn’t want to leave the rest of my life to chance. To be honest it does seem quite wrong rationally to spend your life relying on someone else to take the precautions. So that was a large factor I took into account. Plus for women, taking the pill long term does have serious side affects.
I didn’t tell my girlfriend about my decision. Her bathroom pregnancy test antics had kind of put an end to open discussion. The time had come to take control of my life and stop leaving it to chance and the whim of others. I was not dating her with some master plan in mind to have a family – we were just having fun, not planning anything. I’d seen too many friends who had long term relationships end up having kids just because “it seemed like the thing to do”. Well, kids are not “the thing to do”. they are for life, your life and theirs.
I did go and seem my doctor though. I popped in and said id like a vasectomy. He sat upright in his chair, removed his half rimmed spectacles, put his fountain pen down and said “How long have you been married then?” I replied that I wasn’t. He raised only the one eyebrow and came back with “How many children do you have then?” I replied “None, that’s why I want the snip”. This raised the other eyebrow.
After some lengthy discussion I did finally manage to persuade him I was serious, had rationally thought it through and really did not want to continue to take such chances. It did take some talking though. Initially he thought I would regret it. Eventually he said I could probably get it done on the National Health but the waiting list was nine months. “Nine months”, I blurted, that was just too long and almost Freudian in length. He then offered to put me in touch with Marie Stopes where I could pay to have it done privately.
Private, wouldn’t that cost loads I said. Actually not, and they even had a payment plan to spread the cost. That sounded easy, plus they had a website that answered all my questions, had easy to understand diagrams and I could even book online, download an information booklet and speak to someone in confidence about any questions I had. How hard could it be?
I’d heard the normal pub stories from my mates and knew all the old wives tales, but they were clearly pub stories and nonsense. One look at the information on the website was all it took to dispel the myths. It’s important to find out for yourself and not listen to rumour or hearsay.
The clinic was really good, very professional and customer focused. That set the tone for the day. As a result I was not nervous at all, plus all my questions were answered and as they were the professionals with the experience they knew answers to questions I’d not even thought about.
The operation was done under local anaesthetic, which meant I had the option of watching. Of course I had to watch, just to make sure no one took the crown jewels away. The only bit that hurt, ironically, was the injection to numb everything, it was a needle after all. But after that there was a bit of heat as the antiseptic wipe was applied and then a feeling of tugging as the sperm carrying tubes were located, much less than everyone says.
It took about 10 minutes, I think. The staff were chatty and supportive throughout. I then recovered in the clinic and had a cup of tea and read some magazines (not lad’s ones, as I had to wait a few days before any activity was allowed)
After my recovery time I then went home. I did walk like John Wayne for a bit but most of that was in my head, not between my legs.
The biggest thing I felt was the sense of relief that I’d finally taken control. It was like a big weight had been removed. Suddenly the future seemed brighter and I was in control. I felt lucky that I’d not suffered the consequences of an unintended pregnancy previously and now I’d never have to worry about that happening.
Now, several years later, I feel even better about making that decision. Lots of things in life you have no control over, but some you do, or could do. My philosophy is to mitigate bad luck by taking control as much as you can. People have asked me if I ever regretted taking such drastic action. To them I can genuinely say no. I tell them I would rather regret not having kids than regret having kids I had not wanted. Also, having made the decision I don’t ever have to wonder or ponder such choices. That makes life much simpler.
If you want to have some element of control then make a decision. If you want to avoid bad luck then remove the opportunity for it to mess up your life.
