Stephen – vasectomy diary
I have a fantastic son and a daughter and am happily married living in London. My vasectomy was 13 years ago and I am now 51.
For me bringing up a child is really the biggest, most stressful, financially difficult, challenging (and of course rewarding) role in my life demanding absolute commitment and full-on support. After my second child I knew for certain that I didn't want any more children whatever the circumstances. To be honest my wife was still open to the possibility of three or even four children but she knew my view on that.
So after much discussion I decided vasectomy would be my best option. I saw it as the most permanent, safe and reliable solution, and many of my friends who had had a vasectomy said it was one of the best decisions they ever made. Other methods of birth control always seemed messy, slightly hit and miss and in the heat of the moment, open to human error!
I booked it at Marie Stopes and was talked through, face to face, all aspects of the procedure with its subsequent life long implications. I felt I could discuss any aspect and there was no rush. Of course when the day came I felt nervous - a medical procedure in THAT area for any man is bound to cause considerable anxiety and fear. But I was amazed at the fact that it really did only take about ten minutes and honestly the local anaesthetic was no worse than at the dentist and the thought was the worse bit. It is best to try and keep your mind on other things while they do the procedure but for me...ten (rather long) minutes discomfort for a lifetime¹s liberation.
So after the recovery period with a cup of tea I was back in a taxi home and took the advice of taking it easy all weekend and avoiding heavy lifting or strenuous activity for a month. But I was back at my desk job on the Monday.
I did bruise up slightly and there was obviously some soreness and a little swelling for a few days but as my wife reminded me 'just think what we women go through in childbirth!'
There are the obvious bloke' discussions down the pub where men think it reduces your sex drive and performance. That really is rubbish - in fact it liberates you and makes sex so much easier. As I always tell them “the river is full and flowing - just now there are no fish in there!”
In fact I have always had this fear as I settle into my 50's and 60's when my children have flown the nest and we should be slowing down and looking to retirement, it makes the thought of an unwanted pregnancy truly scaring. The disturbed nights, nappies, school runs, homework, endless pocket money, should all be a thing of the past!
